:: NORMISM'S ::

1.

"What's shaking Norm?"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."
2. "What's new Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."
3. "What'd you like Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."
4. "What'll you have Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."
5. "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."
6. "What's the story Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."
7. "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."
8. "Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
9. "What's going on Mr Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says 'Insert beer here.'"
10. "Whatcha up to Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
11. "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."
12. "How's life treating you Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."
13. "Women. Can't live with 'em... pass the beer nuts."
14. "What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that flat bar stool"
15. "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one... make that one-thirty."
16. "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."
17. "What's the story Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
18. "Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."
19. "Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."
20. "How's a beer sound, Norm?"
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in"
21. "Beer, Normie?"
"Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week, Eh, why not, I'm still young."

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